{"title":"SMILEY GOLF","description":"\u003cp\u003eÓrale, you beautiful golf sickos.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDon Panchito here — your favorite dimpled walnut with the visor, the putter, and the permanent 4:30 tee time energy. I don’t care about your swing. I care about your aura. You bring good vibes and a little chaos? You’re family. You’re a real asshole? I’ll just laugh and keep nutting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eToday I’m dropping the official word on the SMILEY COLLECTION — hats and t-shirts that let you \u003cstrong\u003ewear the Certified Golf Sicko® lifestyle\u003c\/strong\u003e loud and proud.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTHE HATS\u003cbr\u003eThese \u003cstrong\u003ehats are built for on-course and off-course\u003c\/strong\u003e. Rock ‘em while you’re grinding on the range or while you’re grabbing tacos after. The Smiley Collection hats feature the one and only Don Panchito — big smile, zero filter, pure golf-sicko energy. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether it’s a snapback, trucker, or whatever fits your weird little head, these lids tell the world you don’t have a problem… you have a tee time. Good energy only. The kind that makes strangers nod and say “that guy gets it.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eTHE T-SHIRTS\u003cbr\u003eNow listen close, cabrones — these are \u003cstrong\u003elifestyle tees, not course tees\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLeave the Smiley tees in the closet when you’re playing (we don’t need the dress code police having a meltdown). But the second you walk off 18 or roll out of bed on a random Tuesday, throw one on and let the world know you’re part of the family.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSoft as a perfect lag putt. Graphics that hit harder than a 7-iron to the ribs. Big smiling Don Panchito staring back at you like he just made eagle on a par 5. Slogans that make the normies uncomfortable and the real ones feel seen. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThese shirts are for the bar, the BBQ, the gym, the airport, the couch — anywhere you wanna spread that slightly unhinged but extremely positive golf aura.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you’re not thinking about golf right now, you’re doing it wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Smiley Collection is here for the ones who love this game so much it hurts… in the best way. Good energy. Big smiles. Zero judgment on your game. Just pure, Certified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day! energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNow go grab yours before they’re gone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour favorite uncle,  \u003cbr\u003e--Don Panchito\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"smiley-golf-magnetic-golf-glove-holder","title":"THE SMILEY PORTABLE MAGNETIC GLOVE HOLDER FOR GOLF CARTS (glove not included)","description":"\u003cp\u003eYour tío (meaning uncle) Don Panchito is fired up to announce we’re now taking \u003cstrong\u003epre-orders for the next batch\u003c\/strong\u003e of our Magnetic Golf Glove Holder--the very first product that started it all!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis thing is pure chaos control on the cart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSuper strong velcro + industrial strength magnets = slap it on, rip it off, move it wherever you want.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour glove stays dry, secure, and exactly where it belongs the whole round.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLightweight, tough, and built for real golfers who actually play.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo more chasing wet gloves or digging through your bag like a madman.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJust pure convenience so you can focus on nutting every day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePre-orders are open right now\u003c\/strong\u003e for the next batch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGolf ain’t just a game, it’s a lifestyle… and this is the must-have upgrade your cart’s been begging for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e(*glove not included, you sicko)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLock in your pre-order before the cart leaves without you!\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"YELLOW","offer_id":44601142018329,"sku":"860009911314","price":13.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"BLUE","offer_id":44601141985561,"sku":"860009911321","price":13.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"PINK","offer_id":44601142051097,"sku":"860009911338","price":13.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"BLACK","offer_id":44601141920025,"sku":"860009911307","price":13.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"WHITE","offer_id":44601141952793,"sku":"860009911345","price":13.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4-PACK: YELLOW","offer_id":44896207405337,"sku":"","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4-PACK: BLUE","offer_id":44896207372569,"sku":"","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4-PACK: PINK","offer_id":44896207438105,"sku":"","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4-PACK: BLACK","offer_id":44896207307033,"sku":"","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4-PACK: WHITE","offer_id":44896207339801,"sku":"","price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"SPECIAL 5-PACK: MULTI-COLOR","offer_id":44896210026777,"sku":"","price":45.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/Magnetic-Golf-Glove-Holders_yellow.jpg?v=1783444772"},{"product_id":"mini-golf-brush-with-retractable-belt-carabiner-clip","title":"ORIGINAL MINI GOLF BRUSH WITH RETRACTABLE BELT CLIP","description":"\u003cp\u003eSay goodbye to those bulky, long, traditional, ugly-ass golf brushes that look like they belong in your garage, not on your bag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHere’s the real one--the Original Mini Golf Brush with Retractable Belt Clip.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe made this with caddies in mind from the start. The ones who need to clean grooves fast during practice without fumbling around like idiots. The ones who want it right there on the bag between shots without it swinging around and smacking everything. Clip it to your belt for quick access at the range or practice round. No more digging through your bag like a raccoon. On the course? Snap it to your bag, keep your head in the game, and clean your clubs between swings. Clean face, better contact, more spin. That’s it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe bristles are heavy-duty enough to power through dirt, grass, and that nasty grime, but they’re still gentle on your club faces. This thing is built tough--it’ll be your trusty sidekick for round after round after round. No cheap plastic bullshit here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGolfers who actually play the game love it for the simple reasons:\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e- \u003cstrong\u003eClips perfectly on belt loops or bags\u003c\/strong\u003e without getting in the way  \u003cbr\u003e- Feels solid and reliable in your hand  \u003cbr\u003e- Actually cleans the grooves right--dirt and grass gone quick  \u003cbr\u003e- Real quality at a price that doesn’t make you cry  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd we back it with a real \u003cstrong\u003e5-year guarantee\u003c\/strong\u003e. Wear it out from normal use? We’ll replace it. No hassle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe’re even shipping it without all the extra packaging waste--because this brush doesn’t need fancy wrapping to prove it’s good. It just works.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou’re not obsessed. You’re certified.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eClip it on. Keep your sticks clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMade with caddies \u0026amp; sickos in mind.\u003c\/strong\u003e Built for the ones who can’t quit the game.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"One Mini Golf Brush","offer_id":49501661888793,"sku":"","price":17.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2-Pack Mini Golf Brushes","offer_id":50159116943641,"sku":"","price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3-Pack Mini Golf Brushes","offer_id":52821188313369,"sku":null,"price":45.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4-Pack Mini Golf Brushes","offer_id":52860070461721,"sku":null,"price":56.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/01_Hero_White_Background_e5971fa4-562c-4dc9-8ac5-72dd44130308.png?v=1783979553"},{"product_id":"square-golf-ball-towel","title":"SQUARE BALL TOWEL","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e¡Pura vida on the links, cabrón! This is the \u003cstrong\u003eSquare \"Nutty Ball Boy\" Golf Ball Towel\u003c\/strong\u003e, built for the true golf sickos who know how to take care of their balls and nuts. Compact, classic, and ready to keep your golf balls shining while this walnut mascot approves every nutty wipe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eCrafted from 97% pure cotton terry (the rest is pure nutty magic), this towel is thick, ultra-absorbent, and built to handle your sweatiest balls round after round. Classic black stripes on white – perfect for polishing golf balls, wiping nuts of sweat, and staying fresh on those long walks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWhy this towel nuts harder than the rest:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eMaximum Ball \u0026amp; Nut Absorption:\u003c\/strong\u003e Soaks up dirt and moisture like a pro on your golf balls. Keeps 'em clean, dry, and ready to bomb it pure\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSquare Nutty Design:\u003c\/strong\u003e 18\" x 18\" pocket rocket made for dedicated golf ball duty – stuff it deep and never play with dirty balls or sweaty nuts again\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePerformance Built:\u003c\/strong\u003e Bleed-free, durable terry with subtle woven logo. Full nut-approved swagger\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eWhether you're grinding fairways or just need a quick ball-and-nut touch-up between holes, this golf ball towel's got you covered. Grab one and join Don Panchito in nutting every day with pristine balls!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e¡That's pure, pendejo!\u003c\/strong\u003e Limited drop for the real ball nuts. Get it before your boys try to borrow your nut rag.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCertified Golf Sicko® Approved.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"3-Pack","offer_id":52517476401433,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2-Pack","offer_id":52517476368665,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One Square Towel","offer_id":52517481840921,"sku":null,"price":10.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4-Pack","offer_id":52517476434201,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/Square-Golf-Towel.png?v=1784393217"},{"product_id":"golf-towel-neon-pink-scottsdale-silverleaf-edition","title":"NORTH SCOTTSDALE 'THE LEAF' NEON PINK STRIPES medium caddy towel","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e¡Pura vida on the links! This isn’t your average golf towel — it’s the \u003cstrong\u003eNeon Pink Scottsdale 'The Leaf' Golf Towel\u003c\/strong\u003e, built for the crew dominating North Scottsdale’s private tracks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eDesigned to match the vibrant energy of Silverleaf and the desert clubs, this bold neon pink towel brings serious clubhouse swagger while keeping your gear spotless. Whether you’re wiping down clubs after a bomb drive, cleaning your ball on the green, or freshening up on a hot Arizona afternoon, it delivers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 dir=\"auto\"\u003eWhy golfers love it:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eUltra-Absorbent Performance Terry\u003c\/strong\u003e: 97% premium cotton terry soaks up moisture fast and dries quickly — perfect for sweaty rounds and messy lies\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClubhouse-Ready Style\u003c\/strong\u003e: Eye-catching neon pink stripes that turn heads and match the exclusive “Leaf” vibe\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTour-Level Size\u003c\/strong\u003e: Generous 18\" x 36\" gives you plenty of clean surface for clubs, grips, and face — no more soggy rags mid-round\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBuilt to Last\u003c\/strong\u003e: Durable, bleed-free fabric that survives washing machine abuse and 36-hole days\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eFrom the back nine at Silverleaf to your home course in Tampa Bay, this towel is your new on-course essential. Grab one (or a few for the crew) and bring that Clubhouse Killer energy to every round.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCertified Golf Sicko® Approved.\u003c\/strong\u003e Limited drop — don’t sleep on it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"2-Pack","offer_id":52517515100441,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"One Golf Towel","offer_id":52517512118553,"sku":null,"price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3-Pack","offer_id":52517512184089,"sku":null,"price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4-Pack","offer_id":52517512216857,"sku":null,"price":40.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/1_Medium-Golf-Towel_SMILEY-GOLF_square.png?v=1784391675"},{"product_id":"warranty-belt-clip","title":"Warranty Replacement: Retractable Belt Clip","description":"","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":50804151779609,"sku":"","price":0.01,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/SMILEYGolf_Replacement-Belt-Clip.jpg?v=1771633197"},{"product_id":"mini-golf-brush-clear-retractable-carabiner-clip-black-kevlar-cord","title":"MINI GOLF BRUSH with CLEAR KEY-BACK© SIDEKICK BELT CLIP","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis right here is the upgraded \u003cstrong\u003eMini Golf Brush with the Key-Bak\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e© SIDEKICK Belt Clip--\u003c\/strong\u003ethe little tool that started Smiley Golf, but now built like actual equipment instead of something that dies after two rounds.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNon-scratch nylon bristles on a aluminum, nylon, and plastic frame scrub dirt, grass, and debris off your club faces without leaving a mark. Small, simple, and always ready.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut the real upgrade lives in the \u003cstrong\u003eKey-Bak\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e© SIDEKICK\u003c\/strong\u003e. Clear polycarbonate case, stainless steel spring, and a Kevlar fiber cord with 80-pound minimum breaking strength that stretches a smooth 24 inches when you need it and snaps right back without tangling or fraying. Zinc alloy carabiner clips solid to your belt loop or bag. Twist-free split ring keeps the brush locked on. It’s standard duty but over-engineered on purpose — handles way more than the brush’s tiny 15-gram weight and lasts up to 10x longer than those cheap disposable reels while producing 90% less waste.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWe fixed the failure points caddies and sickos actually deal with: cords snapping, cheap plastic breaking in the heat, reels that tangle and frustrate. No more of that nonsense.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLifetime warranty on the brush itself. One-year warranty plus lifetime service policy on the retractor. USA-made upgrade that respects your game and your time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eClip it on once and forget about it — until you need clean grooves to stripe it pure.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":52792833605913,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Orange","offer_id":52792834621721,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Blue","offer_id":52792848318745,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Green","offer_id":52792848351513,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Yellow","offer_id":52792848384281,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Pink","offer_id":52792858247449,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/SMILEY-GOLF_Mini-Golf-Brush_Clear-Retractable-Carabiner-Keychain-Clip-and-ORANGE-Kevlar-Cord_SIDE.jpg?v=1772663174"},{"product_id":"white-organic-bucket-hat-smiley","title":"SIMPLE SMILEY organic bucket hat","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThis unisex organic cotton bucket hat is straight heat — the same clean, high-profile style LPGA badass Amy Yang rocks on tour, but with the \u003cstrong\u003eSmiley face logo\u003c\/strong\u003e 3D Puff’d right on the front like it’s trying to escape the hat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThat raised, textured 3D puff embroidery makes the smiley pop harder than your 7-iron off a tight lie. Made from 100% organic cotton twill that’s GOTS certified and OEKO-TEX Standard 100 approved — soft, breathable, and easy on the planet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eHigh profile crown with a classic brim that actually does its job. One size fits most, because good hats (and good sickos) come in all shapes and sizes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThis bucket is for the ones who want that tour-player look with a little extra attitude. The 3D puff smiley on the front says it all: you came to play, you came to smile, and you came to nut on the course every damn day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThrow it on and let the world know you’re a happy little golf sicko with premium taste.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eCertified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"metric\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52771403923737,"sku":"4776619_13819","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/organic-bucket-hat-bio-white-front-6a481f1debecd.jpg?v=1783111468"},{"product_id":"black-organic-bucket-hat-smiley","title":"SIMPLE SMILEY organic bucket hat","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThis is the no-nonsense version of the bucket — same clean, high-profile look LPGA badasses like Amy Yang wear, but built with regular 100% cotton twill instead of the fancy organic stuff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eFront and center: the \u003cstrong\u003eSmiley face logo\u003c\/strong\u003e done in raised \u003cstrong\u003e3D Puff embroidery\u003c\/strong\u003e so it actually pops off the hat like it’s proud to be there. No subtle bullshit — just a big, textured smile staring back at everyone who sees you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e3 ¾″ crown gives it that proper high-profile bucket shape, while the 2 ¼″ brim keeps the sun out of your eyes and the sweat off your face. Sewn eyelets all around for extra breathability so you’re not cookin’ your brain on a hot afternoon round.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eOne size fits most, because good hats shouldn’t be picky. This is the practical, comfortable, no-frills version for the sicko who just wants a solid bucket that looks good and actually works.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThrow it on, adjust that fit, and go play like the happy little degenerate you are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eCertified Golf Sicko® …nutting every day!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e• 100% cotton twill\u003cbr\u003e• 3 ¾″ (7.6 cm) crown\u003cbr\u003e• 2 ¼″ (5.1 cm) brim\u003cbr\u003e• One size fits most\u003cbr\u003e• Sewn eyelets for breathability\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e7.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52771559899417,"sku":"1441475_10735","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/bucket-hat-i-big-accessories-bx003-black-front-6a48239c950ee.jpg?v=1783112682"},{"product_id":"retro-trucker-hat-nirvana-golf-sicko","title":"GRUNGE SMILEY GOLF BALL","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eA classic retro trucker hat with nothing but the yellow golf ball smiley face embroidered on the front — X eyes, big shit-eating grin, dimples everywhere, and that little club-shaped curve in the smile like it’s already judging your swing. Pure Nirvana energy, zero text, just the face. Simple. Loud. Perfect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eSame trusted trucker construction: structured front so the smiley pops, mesh back so your head stays cool, and that easy adjustable fit. Wear it tilted, backwards, or straight while you’re living life off the course. This ain’t range gear. This is daily uniform for the obsessed.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eYellow golf ball smiley. X eyes. Zero chill. All sickness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eEvery real sicko’s got a little Don Panchito rattling around inside them. This hat just turns the distortion up and lets him breathe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eQuit being soft and throw it in the cart. Your head’s been waiting for this kind of grunge.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e• 26% cotton, 74% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Mid-profile cap with a low-profile embroidery area\u003cbr\u003e• Structured, six-panel cap\u003cbr\u003e• 3.5″ crown (8.9 cm)\u003cbr\u003e• Hard buckram front panels\u003cbr\u003e• Mesh back\u003cbr\u003e• Permacurv® visor, matching undervisor\u003cbr\u003e• Plastic adjustable closure\u003cbr\u003e• Head circumference: 21⅝″–23⅝″ (54.9 cm–60 cm)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e21 ⅝-⅝\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3 ⅞\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6 ¾\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eD (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55-1.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e10\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e6.5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e17.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Black","offer_id":52773475582233,"sku":"6774127_8747","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Navy","offer_id":52773475615001,"sku":"6774127_8751","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Heather Gray","offer_id":52773475647769,"sku":"6774127_20391","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Evergreen","offer_id":52773475680537,"sku":"6774127_20393","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Silver","offer_id":52773475713305,"sku":"6774127_20392","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White","offer_id":52773475746073,"sku":"6774127_8746","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/retro-trucker-hat-black-left-front-6a492b7da038e.jpg?v=1783180175"},{"product_id":"organic-cotton-bucket-hat-nirvana-smiling-golf-ball","title":"GRUNGE SMILEY GOLF BALL","description":"\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eYou grunge-headed animals…\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThis is the clean one. An organic cotton bucket hat rocking nothing but the yellow golf ball smiley face — X eyes, big shit-eating grin, dimples everywhere — 3D puff embroidered on the front so it actually pops off your head like it’s laughing at your last triple bogey. High profile, classic brim, one size fits most. Made from 100% organic cotton twill that’s GOTS certified and OEKO-TEX Standard 100 approved — breathable, eco-friendly, and soft as hell.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThis hat can go on the course or off it. Wear it during a sunny round to keep the sun off your dome, or rock it around town as your daily uniform. Either way, you’re repping the sickness loud and clear with zero text, just the face.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e3D puff embroidery so the smiley stands up and says hello (or quietly judges your fade). Organic cotton so you can feel good about nutting every day without trashing the planet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eEvery real sicko’s got a little Don Panchito rattling around inside them. This hat just puts the grunge right on your head.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eQuit being soft and throw it in the cart. Your dome deserves this kind of energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e· 100% organic cotton twill\u003cbr\u003e· Classic brim\u003cbr\u003e· High profile\u003cbr\u003e· One size fits most\u003cbr\u003e· The organic cotton content of this product is certified under GOTS (Global Organic Textile Standard)\u003cbr\u003e· The fabric of this product is OEKO-TEX Standard 100 certified\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e3 ½\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eC (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eOne size\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e8.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e5\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52773498978585,"sku":"8507454_13819","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/organic-bucket-hat-bio-white-front-6a492f1728f02.jpg?v=1783181090"},{"product_id":"smiley-golf-in-pocket-mini-golf-brush","title":"SMILEY IN-POCKET MINI GOLF BRUSH","description":"\u003cdiv dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-testid=\"code-block\"\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe pure pocket brush.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eThis is the brush only — no retractor, no carabiner, no swinging clip. Just the clean, compact SMILEY GOLF mini brush designed to live in the side pocket of your shorts or pants.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003eAt only 2.56\" tall and 0.54\" thick, it disappears into your pocket but is ready the second you need it. Pro-grade non-scratch nylon bristles clean grooves fast without damaging your clubs. Contoured diamond-grip handle stays locked in your hand even when wet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ePerfect for:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul dir=\"auto\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGolfers who already have a retractor and want a reliable backup\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePlayers who hate stuff swinging off their bag or belt\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who just wants a clean, simple, always-there groove brush \u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDetails:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBrush Only\u003c\/strong\u003e — No retractor or carabiner included\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eTrue Pocket Size\u003c\/strong\u003e — 2.56\" tall × 1.44\" wide × 0.54\" thick\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFits perfectly in the side pocket of your shorts or pants\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003ePro-grade non-scratch nylon bristles\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eContoured diamond texture grip for wet hands \u0026amp; gloves\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e5-Year No-Hassle Guarantee\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"auto\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eBacked by our 5-Year No-Hassle Guarantee.\u003c\/strong\u003e Wear it out from normal use and we’ll replace it free.\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"SMILEY GOLF","offers":[{"title":"One Pocket Mini Golf Brush","offer_id":52824545886489,"sku":null,"price":11.5,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2-Pack Pocket Mini Golf Brushes","offer_id":52824545919257,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3-Pack Pocket Mini Golf Brushes","offer_id":52824545952025,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/SMILEY-GOLF-MINI-GOLF-BRUSH_REAL-SCALE-COMPARISON_square-transparent.png?v=1783980983"},{"product_id":"pars-birdies-x-don-panchito-classic-rope-cap","title":"PARS \u0026 BIRDIES SMILEY classic rope cap","description":"\u003cp\u003eÓrale. This is the one that sits on your head and quietly judges every other hat in the room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFront and center: the official PARS \u0026amp; BIRDIES SMILEY, embroidered clean and loud in that hot-pink outline that somehow looks both innocent and completely unhinged. One eye closed like it’s seen every bad lie you’ve ever hit and still decided to stick around. That’s the energy. Certified Golfoholic energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn’t some soft dad-hat situation. It’s a proper classic rope cap — structured five-panel, mid-profile, curved bill with that braided rope detail running across the front like it means business. Lightweight 100% polyester so it doesn’t turn into a sweat sponge by the back nine (or by noon at the marina). Stay-Dri sweatband keeps your forehead from staging a full mutiny. Snapback closure. One size fits most heads that still think about golf when they should be sleeping.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it on the course. Wear it to the range. Wear it to the grocery store when you’re still replaying the 7-iron you chunked on 14. It doesn’t care. It’s built for the ones who never really leave.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you’re not thinking about golf right now… you’re doing it wrong.  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e• 100% polyester  \u003cbr\u003e• Stay-Dri sweatband  \u003cbr\u003e• Structured, five-panel, mid-profile  \u003cbr\u003e• Curved bill with braided rope detailing  \u003cbr\u003e• Adjustable snapback  \u003cbr\u003e• One size fits most  \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHome of Golfoholics.  \u003cbr\u003eDon Panchito approved.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"DON PANCHITO: HOME OF GOLF NUTZ","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":52860000764185,"sku":"1984234_22229","price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0722\/4829\/5705\/files\/classic-rope-cap-black-white-left-front-6a5cd808675af.jpg?v=1784469528"},{"product_id":"smiley-pars-birdies-x-don-panchito-rope-hat","title":"PARS \u0026 BIRDIES SMILEY classic rope hat","description":"\u003cp\u003eÓrale. 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